Yesterday, March 25, 2015- my Aunt Tricia passed away. She was suffering from a rare and very aggressive cancer that was literally taking her for all she had. It seems like a nightmare because from the time she got diagnosed until the day she left was a snap of a finger. It was October when hearing she had cancer- then a couple weeks ago told she may only have a couple months or weeks even. Right, more like couple days or hours. No one was truly prepared- just like that she was gone. She was only 48 years old. And has the most beautiful, amazing kids, my cousins. Rachel, the oldest (21) Timmy (19) and Jake (12). And my Uncle Timmy, who is one of the greatest dads I know and was my aunts other half. My aunt was different from everyone. She was beautiful, funny, charasmic and forever young. She was as playful as a child and always knew how to lighten a mood. She also was one of my closest family members. Someone I would run to when I needed advice or just someone to listen – really listen to me. She meant more to me than anyone understands. Only she and I know that our relationship was something special and private and ours. There were certain years of my life I am sure I couldn’t have overcome without talking to her, things I needed justified- she helped me find peace. I loved her very much. I’ll love her until forever.
This life is tricky. The choices we make and the things we do here are very important. And keeping faith is what is most important at times like these. Mostly because I’m angry. How could God take someone I love so much yet again? Someone who had three children and a loving husband? It sometimes makes me wonder and want to yell- well what’s the fucking point now God? All of this, life- experiences, joy, pain, love…what’s any of that got to do with what happened now? What’s the reason? But there are, I suppose. I just don’t have the heart today to find one.
However, Aunt Tricia- I love you in a way I can never explain and I already miss you so much. My heart hurts but I know the pain you were suffering was much too much to bear. I am at peace knowing now that you are no longer suffering and I hope everyone we have lost is greeting you at the gates of heaven. And I hope you find grace and infinite happiness, yet know the ones you left behind will always keep you in our hearts. I love you so much – I’ll miss you until we meet again. It’s been raining since you left us, as if the world is feeling the grief of your absense. And when the sun shines and the weather seems too perfect to be true- I will smile up to the clouds, and I will always think of you.
Thank you for all that you have done, my angel. REST IN PEACE❤️