Uncertain Forever.

I’ve never felt this much. I feel so far from my home, your arms.
It is all too much to bare.
There is a fluttering ache in my chest where butterflies
are supposed to fly but instead wasps took place and nestled in.
How incredibly heartbreaking just a couple words from the right
mouth can crush your being and make you feel dead inside.
“I don’t know if I feel the same anymore.”
The words dance a morbid dance around my head,
your words weighing heavy on my tongue like tar.
I drift back to the happier times, where did they go?
And if the love is gone- where does it go?
If it’s not in you it has to be somewhere.
Can’t we trace back the steps in the map of our love and find it again?
I know I would walk the earth to find what we had.
Maybe it’s hiding in the shadows of our insecurities and doubt.
Maybe all we have to do is say, it’s just a phase and well snap out of it sometime.
My heart is thumping so loud in my chest,
I think every valve may break off until there was nothing but silence.
He says, “I don’t know.”
And that was it, my world is crumpling down around me without my helping.
I can’t move my legs that feel like bricks dragging me down
into a puddle of my own salty tears.
I want to say what my mind is thinking but won’t let me.
“But I’m in love with you” its shouting.
We said all there was to say.
He is unsure and I’m stepping off the cliff into the uncertainty of where we lie.
On the thin line of forever, ending a bit too soon.

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